Anal Etiquette Ch. 00: Politics as Usual


Foreword from Lord Odie

Politics as Usual is a spinoff of my Anal Etiquette stories. While set in the same Etiquette universe, there will be creative differences going forward that neither Cypher or myself plan to justify against each other’s work. In other words, we’ll probably both take our stories in different – although at times similar – directions.

In laying out the background for the story Cypher wanted to write, I was forced to define certain aspects of the Etiquette universe that I’d never really put much thought into before – specifically, the political differences between the United States and the European Union; as well as the various political factions within America itself. So here’s what’s been going on behind the scenes in everyone’s favorite anal universe:

First, a few random tidbits that I’ve never formally defined: the five-to-one gender imbalance in the Etiquette universe came about as a botched genetic manipulation by several of the world’s governments to combat overpopulation. The goal was to make humans less fertile, but only succeeded in making male fetuses significantly less common. Even trying to clone males often results in total failure of the process; or a female embryo.

Extreme female anal dilation actually began as a fad in the mid-2020’s. With the massive proliferation of pornography – unimaginable a few decades prior – driven by the ever more accessible internet, anal sex had become anything but taboo. All it took was a single, incredibly popular female reality television star – famous only for being famous, or course – to admit that she was addicted to anal dilation on national television for the practice to become commonplace with the impressionable youth of the world. Within a generation, mothers had begun teaching their daughters the proper ways to dilate their anuses so they could hang out with the cool cliques. Commonplace mother/daughter incest developed as a natural extension of that interaction.

True lesbianism isn’t any more common in the Etiquette universe than it is today. Bisexuality is no just longer a taboo; it’s actually actively encouraged amongst the female population. Even today, there are two kinds of women in the world: those who admit to being at least a little bisexual and those that lie about it*. (I make this statement based on my extensive lifetime of research while dating American women. I’ve only dated a single woman who emphatically denied not even being a little bit curious. The rest freely admitted to being curious or having had experimented in the past…)

In an effort to make American school children, “smarter” compared to the graduates of other competing countries, high school in the US now lasts for five years. The driving and voting ages are now 21. The drinking age is 18. No one has really smoked tobacco in generations. Due to the astronomical costs of higher education, most college students live with their parents until they’ve graduated; normally, this is around the age of 23 or 24. Average life expectancies are around 120 years old. Thanks to anti-aging treatments and modern medicine, most people can maintain a healthy sex life well into their 80’s and 90’s – while still looking like they’re in their 40’s or 50’s.

The year is 2097!

Now for the political stuff: The United States ceased being dominated by an oligarchal two-party system in 2038 when Congress couldn’t pass a funding bill for 19 months due to rampant partisanship and the government nearly collapsed. To prevent this kind of political deadlock from happening again, the existing parties were broken up and the US constitution was rewritten into a parliamentary system similar to the United Kingdom. Two coalitions of political parties eventually formed out of the initial free-for-all: The Conservative Coalition and The Opposition. Although, individual parties can and do change affiliations regularly depending on the government in power at the time and disagreements on the key issues of the day.

The Traditionalists and the Progressives are the two primary parties in the Conservative Coalition. Both consider themselves to uphold conservative social values in that they fully support female anal dilation; they just differ on what they consider publicly acceptable. The Progressives want all the silly hypocrisy that exists in the US to end. Everyone already knows that extreme anal dilation is extensively practiced by the vast majority of the female population, so why should it not be openly tolerated? They would argue that it’s just stupid! This is the dominant political ideology in Europe and why public nudity and the displaying of anal gapes is totally acceptable.

On the other side of the spectrum, the Traditionalists don’t want to publically acknowledge anything sexually explicit because it takes them out of their comfort zones; and God forbid anyone should be forced to feel uncomfortable! This ideology bares similarities to current day political correctness, Casibom but taken it several more steps towards the absurd. Traditionalism is the dominant political ideology in America and why most people treat anal dilation with a strict, “Don’t Ask. Don’t Tell.” policy.

There are other fringe parties in the Conservative Coalition as well: Protestant Crusaders, Mad Doggers, Patriarchs, etc. Protestant Crusaders are similar to the Traditionalists, but think anal dilation is a sin that should be practiced; while at the same time punished for severely. The Mad Doggers actually want to strip women of all their civil rights and revert them to a state of property. Patriarchs just want to see more social and political power given to men.

The Opposition is currently dominated by the Constitutional Loyalist, Dolists, Feminist, and Equalist parties. The Constitutional Loyalists are the major party and generally support anal dilation in a manner similar to the Traditionalists, but primarily want the restoration of the original US constitution. Dolists are a loose grouping of ideologies that generally want a welfare state over a capitalist one. These parties are allied with, “The Crazies” for political reasons.

Equalists and Feminists are the, “bad guys” of the Etiquette universe. Equalists want to restore the gender balance, do away with female anal dilation, and officially classify anal masochism as a disease so that federal funding can be allocated to eradicate it. The Feminists are the polar opposites of the Mad Doggers and believe that women should rule the world and men be reduced to property; although their official position on extreme female anal dilation can vary from election cycle to election cycle.

Lord Odie



Growing up next door to my future wife had its advantages. By the time we were married, I was already familiar with what would be required of me in regards to her anal well-being. At least that’s what I thought; indeed, that was even the plan. Ashley is the oldest of 5 sisters. Her mother had left the family shortly after the youngest of the girls was born leaving the girls to be raised by their father, Bill. Looking back on it, I think Bill was probably overwhelmed. A chronic workaholic, he never put the kind of time into his girls anal training as he probably should have; but that is what lead to the arrangement Bill and I came to my Senior year of College.

Ashley was just finishing up High School and – being my neighbor – had already caught my eye. Her mother had taken off 11 years prior and so a lot of the responsibilities of everyday life had fallen squarely on her shoulders. Part of that responsibility was making sure her sisters had what they needed and knew where they were supposed to be. It also meant that when they came of age, their training would be handled largely by her. Either because of this fact or because of a combination of overworking and being constantly horny without a steady lay in his life, Bill had started Ashley’s anal training the Summer prior to her fourth year of High School and she had progressed nicely since that time.

I’m not sure I fully realized that at the time though; at least not to the point where I had made the connection between seeing her walking more gingerly then she used to and the slab of latex she had lodged inside of her causing her discomfort. Don’t get me wrong, I was fully aware at the time of the special ins-and-outs of anal training. Typically, however, that training started her last year of High School not the previous one as had been the case with Ashley. At the time I can only say I suspected her training had already begun, but I didn’t have the proof. I remember my mind started running through the possibilities, but finally I settled on anal training being the only culprit and I became determined to find out the validity of my theory.

Now I probably could’ve just went up to Ashley and asked, but I feared that she would be too embarrassed to give me a straight answer. Besides, such a topic of conversation would be considered rude in polite company. I instead settled upon a direct but slightly more devious way of solving the mystery: I befriended her father.

Bill is a big guy. I’m also a pretty big guy at 6’2″ 220 pounds, but Bill is in a category of his own. At least 5″ taller than I am and probably 290 pounds of mostly muscle, he makes me feel small; and standing next to Ashley he looks like a giant. Ashley is 5’3″ and around 110 pounds, but at the time she was shorter – maybe 5’1″ – so the difference was something to behold. I knew Bill had played football in college, and I had dabbled in the sport myself, but I wasn’t good enough to go on to the next level; nor did I really want to. Really though, what I was looking for was a common interest and I figured football was as good a topic as any other. In this day and age, finding another man to discuss sports with was a welcome reprieve. Ever since Casibom Giriş women started outnumbering men more and more, men’s sports had seen sharp decreases in popularity; but they were still popular enough to make small talk around.

Bill didn’t work weekends and I knew I could catch him at some point during the day outside, and that’s when I’d make my move. It was customary for Bill’s parents to come get the four younger girls Friday evening, and they normally stayed with their grandparents until Sunday sometime; further making the weekend the perfect target opportunity. Friday rolled around and – as expected – Bill’s parents showed up for the girls; who filed into their car and off they went. I watched Ashley turn and walk back into the house after the goodbyes; Bill had remained outside. I approached their yard just as Bill was getting ready to pick up one of those large single piece birdbaths. I offered to lend a hand. He politely declined, picked it up way easier than I ever could, and moved it to its new position on the landscape.

“That’s some strength you’ve got there,” I began the banter phase of my plan. “Ashley had told me you used to play football; I guess I can see why.”

“Yeah, I played some in school; was pretty good too,” he commented and began to walk over towards me.

“I’d be interested in hearing about it sometime if you’re willing.” I had moved from the sidewalk onto the lawn. I noticed Ashley was watching us from the window. She had removed her shirt at some point after she had gone inside and was wearing a quarter-cup bra that was currently framing her tits nicely, her puffy pink nipples were on full display and her left nipple had a painful looking device attached to it. Part jewelry and part nipple torture device, she wore it well and showed no signs of discomfort from it. Below her tits was a noticeable abdominal bulge, not the size you see on older women, but – for her age – Ashley appeared to be fairly advanced as far as her training went.

“Well I was about to head inside for a bit; you want to come in?” He followed my gaze briefly, and then looked back at me. “I’ve got some time if you do.”

More than willing to perhaps get a better look at the girl I’ve been fantasizing over for the past couple weeks, I quickly agreed. We entered the house, and even though we had been neighbors my entire life, this was the first time I’d been inside. It was a nice house: well kept, about the same size as mine. Like nearly every house I’d ever been in, all of the doors on the inside had been taken down so there was very little to no privacy. I followed him to the living room area and we both had a seat across from one another and he started in on his stories of his glory days.

It wasn’t long before Ashley appeared from down a hallway, she was still wearing the same bra I had seen from the window, but what I hadn’t seen and was now evident was she was also bottomless. She had her shoulder length blonde hair casually pulled back into a pony tail and her tits were still on display. I allowed my eyes to drift further down to the abdominal bulge on her otherwise flat stomach. Below that, a shaved mound and toned thighs and calves. I know I was staring as she entered the room, but the trance was broken when I was asked if I wanted anything to drink.

“A water would be fine thank you.” I said, Ashley continued onto the kitchen and for the first time I got to see her ass. As I suspected, in between the two perfect globes of her ass cheeks was a respectable sized retaining plug. I was hardly an expert at the time but it was by my estimation every bit of 5 and 3/4 inches around, larger than my sisters who is a year older than I am!

“Like what you see?” Bill asked me after Ashley was out of ear-shot.

“Who wouldn’t,” was my reply as Ashley returned with a bottled water.

“Come over here and join us Ash.” Her dad patted his lap and she came over and sat down, wincing as the retaining plug rearranged itself in her asshole.

“So you two know one another huh?” I wasn’t sure who he was asking but started to answer anyway when I was cut off.

“Yeah, we know one another Dad, we live next door, I see him all the time.” She wasn’t lying and it did seem kind of obvious.

“I’ve decided that your training needs to be advanced at a faster rate than what it has been.” Bill looked back and forth between me and his daughter, he had moved his hand up the inside of her thigh. In response, she had opened her legs a little to give him more room.

“Really?” She sounded incredulous, “I thought I’ve been making great progress.” Ashley now looked somewhat concerned.

Bill looked at me and winked, then continued. “I’ve asked Cy here to check in on you when I’m not here throughout the week and make sure you’re maintaining your training properly. This was news to me of course, but I didn’t let on. “He will be coming over after the two of you get out of school for the Casibom Güncel Giriş day and train you as he sees fit.”

At this point I could hardly believe my luck. I noticed that Bill’s wandering hand had started increasing in motion, from the angle I couldn’t see exactly what was going on but I had a good idea; the soft squishing sounds were a dead giveaway. This seemed like a good spot for me to enter the conversation. “Well, since I’m going to be helping out with her training, I think I need to see what I’m dealing with here.”

Ashley was clearly enjoying what was happening between her legs but she also had a look of trepidation on her face that was unmistakable. Bill’s hand came out from its hiding place abruptly and he held it near Ashley’s face where she immediately started sucking on the offered digits.

“You have a point. That sounds like a fantastic idea!” He pulled his fingers away from Ashley’s mouth and told her to get on all fours while moving out from under her. He stood up while she positioned herself on the couch they had just been occupying. She reached back with both hands and spread her ass apart. For the first time, I also got a good glimpse of her pussy; which was still wet from the recent activities with her dad. The plug was so large that it was causing her pussy to bulge out a little while in her current position. Bill grabbed onto the grip and stared pulling at the plug – attempting to dislodge it from its hiding place. Ashley had her nose screwed up and was biting her lower lip but was making very little in the way of noise, when the plug popped free of her anal ring however, she did let out a grunt and a soft moan – which continued as 18″ of retainer plug was slowly extracted from her ass.

As the last inch came out I was greeted with an impressive anal gape for a girl Ashley’s size. Her asshole did briefly attempt to close, but seemed to give up mid-action as relaxation set in. Her pussy – which had been pushed outward by the size of the plug – had collapsed into its normal state, but even it gaped some. I looked over at Bill who was setting the massive plug aside and gesturing at the side table by the chair I was in. I quickly realized there was a bottle of lube on the table and this was what he was gesturing for me to grab.

Picking up the bottle, I stood up and walked over to where Ashley was still bent over spreading her ass for us. Bill took the bottle and coated his hands with the lube and handed it back to me. Following his lead, I did the same. I was expecting Bill to start working his daughter’s asshole right away, but surprisingly, he slipped his two middle fingers into Ashley’s pussy. She let out a little moan and it was obvious she was enjoying the attention being paid to her front fuck port.

“With Ashley I’ve found it’s easier on her if she gets some pussy time before the serious work starts.” With that Bill increased his tempo and added his index finger to the two already exploring his daughter’s folds. I watched him for maybe a minute and after some internal debate I reached out and started rubbing my hands all over Ashley’s ass and lower back. She jumped a little and I pulled back but realized it had nothing to do with me. I glanced down to her pussy. Bill had buried his hand up to his thumb and was forcefully corkscrewing it while maintaining a sawing motion with his arm.

The whole sight seemed somewhat surreal to me at the time. I wouldn’t have guessed that Ashley’s pussy would have had the capacity to take something the size it currently was. I was in for another shock though as Bill quickly tucked his thumb into his palm on a backstroke and with one forceful push his whole hand sunk into her pussy up to the wrist. Ashley sucked in through her teeth but kept her hands on her ass pulling herself open through the whole thing. Her nose was scrunched up again like before, but she otherwise made very little noise. The only noise in the room came from the wet squishing emanating from Ashley’s cunt as her father did his best to destroy that hole.

Bill started really working on her pussy at this stage – nearly pulling his entire hand out and then forcing it back in. I decided that I’d had enough of being a bystander and started sliding fingers into her still gaping asshole. However, the gape was smaller than normal due to the amount of room Bill’s hand was taking up inside Ashley’s tiny frame. This continued for another minute or so when I felt her ass get much tighter around the two questing fingers I had buried in there. I backed away and Ashley started huffing and puffing and looking generally distressed as her dad started slowly pulling his hand out of her pussy. It looked as though her pussy was coming with his hand. Ashley let out a yelp and Bill yanked his closed fist free of her pussy accompanied by a wet sucking sound.

Ashley’s pussy started spraying liquid on the couch and floor and her hips jerked forward involuntarily, I could see into the insides of her pussy as it attempted to grip onto and squeeze down on something that wasn’t there. Even though it was an explosive event, it didn’t last very long. Bill had used the time to remove his clothes. Again, following his lead I removed mine as well.

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